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When I
walked through the back door after the
party I was glad the house was dark. I was
also glad to sit down and think about what
the hell had happened that night with Dee
and me. Before I got very far, someone
flipped on the light stabbing my eyes like
glass. My sister Sophia was standing in
the doorway. The look on her face told me
right away that she knew something was
wrong.
I can
never keep anything from her anyway.
Sophia sees through me like a window. She
always has, ever since I was a little boy.
(Why are all the women in this family
psychic?) So I told her what
happened.
I
thought she would start yelling or
something, especially when she heard about
the marijuana and the police, but no, she
just made some tea while she listened to
what I had to say. When I was done I asked
her what I should do. She gave me a look
that said, "I will tell you and I want you
to listen real good." Then she poured the
tea into two red and yellow ceramic mugs
and sat down next to me at the
table.
"Miguel
you are at a crossroads at this time in
your life. Just like moving away from Los
Angeles and the gangs was a crossroads.
You could be making a big mistake by
continuing in this direction. Or you could
wake up, my brother!"
When she
said those words, "Wake up!" she brought
home her meaning by smacking the side of
my head with her hand. It didn't hurt but
it surprised me. So did the force of her
words.
"Miguel,
slow down and take a good look at where
you are going. Dee is a good girl. And she
has been good for you. Why are you
throwing her love away?"
That was
a tough question, especially because until
she asked it, I wasn't aware that I had
been throwing anything away, especially
not Dee. Then I told Sophia that I wanted
to cool it with Dee. Like it was totally
my decision, you know? But really inside,
I was feeling like I had blown it with
this girl who had been so special to me
and that I only said I wanted to cool it
so that I wouldn't have to deal with
Sophia's disapproval.
"Miguel,"
she continued, "If you don't want the
relationship with Dee anymore, that's your
business. Sometimes it is a good thing to
step back from things and give yourself
time to sort them out. I have no problem
with that. But when you tell me that you
are doing drugs and running through the
street at night like a criminal, then I
say, "That is my business! As your big
sister I have always felt responsible for
you, Miguel. I love you and I don't want
to see you waste your life hanging around
people who don't give a damn about what
happens to you. These people are not your
friends and to let them pressure you into
doing things that you don't want to do,
that is crazy!"
Still
she was not yelling (that would have woken
up the rest of the family). Instead she
was whispering but so fiercely that she
sounded like a hissing snake. And so
intently did she look at me, right into my
soul, she saw, that I could not take my
eyes away from her face. Also, in her
eyes, I could see how much she loved
me.
"Miguel,"
she said. "You need to make a change at
this crossroads. Something that will take
you in a new direction so that you can
learn some new things about yourself and
about people."
I told
her I was thinking about getting a
job.
"That is
good! Why not ask Uncle Carlos if you can
work at Mi Familia?
I told
her that I didn't want to work there.
"Everyone in the family would watch over
me every minute, like a baby. I need a job
in a place where nobody knows me. That's
what I want, so I can prove myself to
strangers and feel more like I am out in
the world. You know?"
She
nodded. "Then I will talk to my friend at
Cricket's Cafe. She told me that a couple
of people had just left and they were
looking for help. How does that
sound?"
I told
her I appreciated her concern but that I
wanted to find my own job.
The next
day, after school, I got hired at Black
Bart's. It's a cool place down on 4th
Street. Lots of kids, from all different
schools, hang out there, especially on
weekends. That's when they have live music
and stuff. I'll only be will be clearing
tables to start, but the server's split
some of their tips with us and I can work
my way up. The boss is Andy. He seems
cool. He said I could start Saturday. I
think this will be good.
As for
Dee, maybe I did blow it with her, but for
right now, I think I will just cool it and
try to make some sense out of the other
parts of my life.
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