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I
went to talk to Ms. Harden during study
hall. Becca was right, she was cool. She's
kinda young and has very long very curly
reddish brown hair. Oh, and she's part
black or something, because she definitely
doesn't look white. I never talked to her
before but she knew my name and I liked
her right away.
I
told her what happened with Juan and while
I was telling her I started crying. I'm
not sure why. I didn't cry when it
happened. Or afterwards. And I didn't cry
when I told Becca about it. But there was
something about looking into Ms. Harden's
brown eyes and feeling her concern. I
don't know, it just made the whole thing
more real and I felt like I was right back
in the car with Juan grabbing at my breast
and holding me down. I felt like I was
suffocating and I was really
scared.
When
I was done, Ms Harden handed be a tissue
and she put her hand on my shoulder. She
asked me what I was feeling.
I
told her that I felt kinda yucky and
guilty. And that even though I knew I
hadn't done anything wrong, I felt like I
had. She told me that she didn't believe
that I had done anything wrong. That Juan
was the guilty person and that he needed
to know that people must be treated with
respect. That "no" means "no" and just
because he may be bigger and stronger he
has no right to force himself on me or any
other girl. She said that she was going to
talk to him. Then she asked me if there
was anything that I'd like to say to
Juan.
"Yeah!
I'd like to tell him that I think he's a
loser and a creep and that if he ever
touches me or ever talks to me again, I
will charge him with sexual
harassment!"
It
felt good to say that, even though Juan
obviously couldn't hear me.
Then
Ms. Harden asked if she set up a meeting
with me and Juan, would I tell him how I
felt?
I
said yeah, but I wanted her to talk to him
first.
She
said that she would and that she'd get
back to me.
I
walked out of Ms. Harden's office and I
felt better than I had in about a week.
Miguel was getting some stuff out of his
locker. It was the first time since this
whole thing happened that I was happy to
see him. You know, not scared or hiding
anything.
I
told him what happened. He got really mad.
At first I thought he was mad at me
because he didn't believe my story. But he
said that wasn't it. He said he totally
believed me and that he was pissed at Juan
and felt like busting him in the face. He
had such a wild look in his eyes I thought
he was about to take off, right then, and
go looking for Juan. But I told him that I
didn't want him to fight with Juan.
I
told him, "If you go beat up Juan then it
becomes a guy thing. You know, these two
guys fighting over their property or
something. This isn't about you, Miguel.
This is about me. It's a girl thing... and
this girl can take care of
herself."
Then
I told him that I had already taken care
of the first part of it and I was very
proud of myself. Then Miguel said he was
very proud of me too.
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